More than a Bio
Connecticut (the 5th state to join the union, January 9, 1788) is my home state – the place where I graduated from Hartford Hospital School of Nursing. There I met Bill - a “hoosier” from Indiana – a man with a farming, agricultural background. We married. After Bill’s discharge from the Navy, we moved to Indiana. In 1985, we opened the doors to Cornerstone Seeds, Inc., a hybrid seed corn company. We have two children and four grandchildren.
Connecticut is where my ancestors settled when they came to America from Scotland
in 1719, the years just prior to the First Great Awakening (1730s & 1740s). Patriotism
and military service are part of my family heritage - a Minuteman in the Revolutionary
War, a Union Soldier in the Civil War, and my father who served in the Navy during
World War II.
Growing up, faith and freedom were part of everyday life – at home, at school, in
Girl Scouts, and in church. There was no separation of church and state – no “wall”
dividing God and country.
As a child, I proudly held the American Flag in parades – attended Memorial Day
tributes at historical sites - and put flowers on gravesites of generations of ancestors.
I learned patriotic songs, sang the words, and proudly recited the Pledge of Allegiance.
Love of God, blended with an immense pride for the United States of America, was
anchored in my heart.
But intermingled with many positive and fun moments that filled my childhood in a loving family,
I also learned how easily one can be stripped of freedom.
Abuse devastates – destroys innocence – estranges one from family, friends, and even God.
Abuse leaves scars of deep woundedness.
Every time individuals or groups force their dominance over children, teenagers,
or adults in some abusive and controlling manner,
America is wounded.
At the age of approximately 6, I took a stand against what was unjust. I didn’t realize at the time the significance of my actions, but in essence, I chose freedom over oppression when I forcefully bit the one who overpowered me.
A year or two later, while attending summer camp, I asked Jesus into my heart. The joy I felt was real. However, joy turned to fear when I verbalized of the abuse (which I believed I was my fault) to a minister – a person I believed to be a messenger of God. This man realized I was a vulnerable target. Once again, I became a victim – once again, love was distorted. End result – a “wall of separation” took root between myself and God and Jesus.
I understand being helpless in the hands of powerful, controlling, and demanding persons – people I trusted. I understand loss of freedom - being threatened into silenced – living in confusion of my identity and estranged from God. I know how the lies of evil can obscure truth – how trust can be shattered in a mere instant of time - how reality can be replace with an altered-reality. I have felt the weight of guilt and shame. I believed the lies that I was not worthy of love.
I fought a personal war for my survival – a journey of recovery and healing.
With God’s help, I declared my independence.
During my childhood, teenage years, and young adult years, ugly memories burrowed ever deeper in my mind – repressed and forgotten. All feelings numbed as if they had been injected with an anesthetic. Behind my protective wall, anger, fears, and hatred festered.
I thought I was in control of my life. I wore a mask of confidence. But at age 35, I found myself in an emotional, spiritual, and relational crisis – a confusing turmoil which threatened to destroy my life, my marriage, and my family.
Healing took time. Recovery required perseverance, prayer, and much effort. All is recorded in my book, healing of a violated spirit.
In 2001, I clearly felt God’s “nudging” me to take a stand – to be one of twelve plaintiffs on a lawsuit against an organization that was mismanaging funds and property. We believed that truth would prevail. We believed in the Constitution and democracy. Our attorney informed us it would be an uphill battle – “judges like to protect their political backsides.” Sadly, his words proved to be true.
After four years of litigation, our legal stand ended with our documentation still unseen by a judge. Though legally defeated, we came away with our integrity – with our heads held high. We had taken a stand on what was right. We learned much about the legal system in America – how truth can be suppressed - how laws can be manipulated – how judges can see through distorted vision.
Every time legislators vote or judges make rulings based
on personal ideologies, personal political or financial gains,
America is wounded.
In retrospect, I see how God is using the experiences of my childhood (both loving and unloving), my recovery-healing journey as an abuse survivor, my efforts as a plaintiff on a lawsuit, the writing of healing of a violated spirit to now taking me forward in reviving a patriotic spirit in generations of Americans.
The original focus of the Heal the Wounded Spirit website was survivors of abuse. I’ve often been asked how I became interested in Patriotism – why I designed the Faith & Freedom Prayer Shawl.
Answer: God’s leading and timing. In other words, God took what was meant for ill-gains (childhood victimization) and is using all (healing journey and life’s experiences) for His intended purpose. God has been leading – guiding – nudging me for where He wants me concerning patriotism for the past 2 ½ years. It started very simply – knit prayer shawls.
In 2009, Mary Anne, a friend from nursing school days, gave me a crocheted prayer shawl during a long overdue visit. Not only did she give me a shawl, she produced bags of knitted and crocheted shawls from her closet. She shared that she is the designated “knitter” of her church Prayer Shawl Ministry, and as such she is responsible for distributing shawls to those who are ill – or grieving – or struggling with life’s issues. A few months later, Mary Anne sent me instructions for a plain knitted cross. It triggered my thinking in creating a decorative cross consisting of twists and cables – a design created from Irish Knit patterns.
The more I worked in designing a cross pattern, the more burdened I felt for my country – the United States of America. Soon after, on a Sunday morning, I was silently crying out to God my deep concerns for our nation - how far we have strayed from our faith-based heritage – the vanishing of faith from every aspect of our lives – how the children of this nation are “victims” – being told the “unworthiness” of their heritage – the same children who are not being taught the words of America’s patriotic music.
Amidst my heartfelt words, I had thoughts of The Star Spangled Banner.
I found the anthem in the hymnal. The words to the last verse written by Francis Scott Key in 1814 caught my eye. “Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.” “And this be our motto: "In God is our trust." “And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave - O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!”
The moment was exhilarating – as if God was saying, “See, I’ve been with the United States of America from its earliest days. I am honored in America’s National Anthem.”
That Sunday afternoon, I excitedly began researching the history of America’s patriotic music - the songs I had sung since childhood – a wealth of inspiring lyrics - many of which pay honor and tribute to God. I ordered books of songs and stories.
Learning about patriotic music expanded to researching the history of the American Flag – the colors of liberty – the Stars and Stripes approved by the Continental Congress on June 14, 1777. Per congressional notes of the era, Red stands for hardiness and valor – White for purity and innocence - Blue for vigilance, perseverance, and justice.
One cannot read of the history of the American Flag without reading of the War of 1812 - the Battle of Fort McHenry. Though greatly outnumbered in fighting men and cannon power, the American Patriots refused to be defeated. By dawn’s early light, Francis Scott Key saw his beloved flag - the massive 42’ x 30’ Stars and Stripes majestically flying above the ramparts. Victory and God go hand in hand.
Next, I ventured backward in history some 38 years. I learned that George Washington used 102 different references to God throughout his General orders and personal letters. On November 14, 1775, his aid read the following order:
“The Commander in Chief is confident, the Army under his immediate direction,
will shew (show) their Gratitude to providence, for thus favouring the Cause of
Freedom in America; and by their thankfulness to God, their zeal and perseverance
in this righteous Cause, continue to deserve his future blessings.”
General George Washington, General Orders, November 14, 1775
***
Another order of May 15, 1776, reads:
“The General commands all officers, and soldiers, to pay strict obedience to the
Orders of the Continental Congress, and by their unfeigned and pious
observance of their religious duties, incline the Lord, and Giver of Victory,
to prosper our arms.”
General George Washington, General Orders, May 15, 1776
***
Meanwhile, my knitting was taking on the appearance of 13 stripes – a red, white, and blue prayer shawl with a cable and weave cross design on one of the white stripes.
I knew in my heart that God wanted the shawl known as the Faith & Freedom Prayer Shawl. But His plan for me remained unclear. Over and over I prayed, “Lord God, I understand the connection between the American Flag - patriotic music - America’s faith heritage - and patriotism. But how in the world does knitting fit into the picture?”
As an answer to prayer, I came across the book, No Idle Hands, The Social History of American Knitting by Anne L. Macdonald. In the years leading up to the Revolutionary War, King George III demanded total allegiance to the crown in every aspect of Colonists’ lives including their purchasing all clothing and materials from the mother-country.
The women, in defiance, turned their attention to home growing, home producing, home spinning of yarn and cloth. When the War of Independence broke out, women were ready to equip their men with clothing, blankets, and especially socks. Without items to protect the men from the elements, the Colonists could not have gone to war.
As I continued to read and knit, God revealed the correlation He wanted me to understand – that times of War are times when this nation turns its eyes toward God – times of War are times of sacrificial patriotism – times of War are times we rally around the American Flag – and times of War are times we freely sing patriotic songs, stand proudly and cheer. Historically, times of war are times when women knitted for their men!
Patriotic Knitters of past wars rallied with mottos:
Revolutionary War (1775-1783) “Knit for the Cause!”
Civil War (1861-1865 – both North and South) - “Knit for the Boys!”
In both of these wars, patriotic knitters made thousands of pairs of socks and countless bandages. The need was so great that women were allowed to knit during church services.
During World War I (1914-1919), Mable Boardman, the Red Cross Central Commission’s only woman member, organized a highly spirited, national knitting campaign. The motto was “Knit for Sammy!” (Uncle Sam and the boys).
Eleanor Roosevelt during World War II (1939-1945) spurred thousands of knitters (including men and children) to knit items for the military, the wounded, and refugees. Their motto was “Knit for Victory!”
Today, the United States is engaged in a Cultural, Ethical, Moral, and Spiritual War. The efforts of those who determine to destroy America planted their malicious seeds decades ago. These seeds have not only sprouted but have grown into a massive thicket involving much thorny entanglement.
Self-reliance is being replaced with dependency on foreign counties – for every need in all aspects of our lives. The more dependency dominates, the more America reverts back to Colonial times – a time of ever vanishing religious freedom – a time of controlling legislation and ever increasing taxes – a time when property was confiscated – a time when the government attempted to silence the voice of the people, extinguish the rights of people and the states – a time when a King ruled the land.
The Prophet Isaiah states our choices well:
“If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.”
Isaiah 7:9
As in past wars:
May the Stars & Stripe be seen throughout the land!!!
May we fly the Colors with honor and pride!!!
May the drums toll and the bugles sound!!!
May America sing – raise its voice in united harmony!!!
And may we –
“Knit (create U.S. items) for the Revival of Patriotism!”
